With every first date that leads nowhere and every non-relationship that ends up being a waste of time, finding love can feel pretty impossible. But it doesn’t have to be.
By focusing on the positive when dating, you can keep your motivation up and your expectations realistic. Here’s how: Refine your idea of success, Practice gratitude, and Communicate with friends and family.
Focus on the journey
People enter into relationships for a variety of reasons. But if you find yourself complaining about dating or moping around with an Eeyore attitude, it’s time to change your mindset!
Practicing positive self-talk can help you deflect negative thoughts and feelings such as anxiety, depression, or pessimism. Instead, focus on the positive aspects of dating and try to learn from your experiences. After each date, ask yourself what you learned and how you can improve. This will help you enjoy the process more and stay motivated.
Practice gratitude
The practice of gratitude can help you notice the positive aspects of your relationship, and increase feelings of love and connection. Try keeping a journal of three things you’re grateful for every day, or find a way to regularly express your appreciation to your partner.
It’s also a good idea to show random acts of kindness and thoughtfulness. This can include picking up your partner’s favorite coffee on a whim or cooking them dinner after a long day at work.
Prioritize self-care
It’s easy to become distracted by the ups and downs of dating, which can lead to mental exhaustion. Prioritizing self-care is essential for keeping your energy up and maintaining a positive mindset.
Self-care is often misinterpreted as selfish, but it’s actually a necessity in order to be able to serve others well. Make sure to have open communication with your partner and encourage them to prioritize their own self-care as well. It will create a more mutually beneficial and healthy relationship.
Communicate with friends and family
Many people waste a lot of mental energy engaging in pessimistic and catastrophic thinking about dating. Practicing mindfulness by addressing your negative thoughts can decrease this behavior and lead to more positivity in your relationship.
A positive mindset is crucial for your dating journey. Focusing on the positive things about your relationship and reminiscing on good times will help you stay hopeful when it gets tough. Sometimes the little things can annoy you but a healthy mindset can help you find balance and not take it personally.
Refine your idea of success
It’s important to redefine what success means for you when dating. Instead of thinking that success is finding the person for you, consider how it could be meeting new people, learning about yourself, and enjoying your dating experience.
It can also be helpful to write down your negative beliefs about dating and then replace them with more balanced ones. This will help you avoid wasting your energy and make sure that you’re entering each dating experience for the right reasons.
Don’t compare yourself to others
It’s common to compare yourself to others, but it can get out of hand. When you start to believe that everyone else has better luck than you, it can lead to feelings of unworthiness and low self-esteem.
Comparisons are often a symptom of insecurity, and they won’t make you feel any more secure. Instead, work on accepting yourself for who you are and take small steps to beat yesterday you. Eventually, the urge to compare will lessen on its own.
Stay open-minded
Being open-minded means being receptive to enjoying new experiences. It also means being willing to let go of your own opinions if they prove to be wrong.
Staying open-minded can help you feel more optimistic and inspired. It can also encourage personal growth by inspiring you to seek out knowledge and experience that are outside your comfort zone.
Try to think about topics that you have strong opinions on, like morals, styles of parenting or religion, and then put yourself in the shoes of someone who holds an opposing view.
Don’t let dating define you
Whether you’re dating for fun or looking to find The One, the right mindset can make all the difference. Focus on the journey, practice gratitude, prioritize self-care, communicate with friends and family, redefine success, don’t compare yourself to others, and stay open-minded.
Avoid letting dating define you by focusing on activities that bring you joy, your career, and your relationships with loved ones. When you do date, keep in mind that rejection is an inevitable part of the process but it’s never fatal.